


Not quite to plan

by quietude_et_douceur



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2013-08-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 03:46:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/948262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietude_et_douceur/pseuds/quietude_et_douceur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin's in labour when he ends up stuck in a lift with Arthur of all people. As if his day couldn't get any worse.</p>
<p>Written for the Merlin Mpreg Fest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not quite to plan

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [eeshbelle](http://eeshbelle.livejournal.com) for the quick beta job and kind comments, you're a superstar!
> 
> Warning: contains a graphic birth scene.

Merlin had planned to keep on working until he was due to give birth but the baby had had other ideas. He sighed and rubbed his full stomach as he impatiently waited for the lift. His waters had just broken, just like that, while he was on his break, chatting with Gwen by the coffee machine (he might not have been allowed coffee during his pregnancy but there was no way he was going without the smell for nine months).

**

"What do you mean, you still haven't thought of a name for the baby?" Gwen frowned, sounding a little disappointed at Merlin's confession.

Merlin shrugged dismissively. "I've been preoccupied, is all."

"But you're due in a few days! How have you not thought of names?"

Merlin glared at her. "It's not been easy, you know."

Gwen softened, looking at Merlin a bit forlornly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

Merlin shrugged again, trying not to sulk. "It's alright, it's not your fault."

"Oh, Merlin." Gwen pulled him into a hug, running her hands up and down his back soothingly. "I'll kill him for you, just you wait and see. Or castrate him at least."

Merlin laughed and let himself be held. It was nice, he thought. Gwen was such a good friend to him. "How about Emily if it's a girl?" Gwen suggested softly.

Merlin was just about to tell Gwen that he thought that that was a dreadful idea given his last name (hello, alliteration!) when he felt something warm and wet and gross trickle down his legs.

"What the –" He pulled back to see a clear puddle spread around his feet. He couldn't see his thighs, courtesy of his round stomach, but he was quite sure he knew what was happening. Just then, a painful contraction coursed through his stomach and he doubled over in pain with a groan, bile filling his mouth. He'd been having small, irregular contractions for the last week or so, as the midwife had told him to expect, but this was something else entirely.

"Oh my god, Merlin! Are you alright? You're leaking!" Merlin would have laughed if he wasn't so busy trying to keep his panic and nausea under control.

"'M not leaking, Gwen," he gasped through the pain, trying to calm her down. "My waters have broken."

It didn't work. Gwen sounded even more panicked that Merlin felt. "Oh my god, Merlin! You aren't due for a few days!"

"I know." He could have done without this development. Now his best work trousers were ruined (he'd been hoping to use them around the house once he'd given birth, until he'd lost all the weight he'd gained during his pregnancy) and he had to call Morgana to ask her to move his leave forward by a few days. He really wasn't looking forward to calling Morgana, not since _that_ incident (or The Incident, as Merlin called it in his head).

"Oh god, you're going to give birth today! You're going to be a father! Well, unless your labour goes anything like one of my mates from uni – I've told you about Sefa, right? Anyway, she was in labour for almost thirty-six hours and –"

On Merlin's list of things he didn't want to hear when going into labour, that had to rank at least second. Fuck, _thirty-six hours_ , Merlin wasn't even sure he'd manage another ten minutes!

"Gwen, calm down. I'm fine, everything's fine," he interrupted before Gwen could go into detail. But everything was not fine, as a contraction chose that exact moment to course through Merlin's stomach. He gave a pained whimper and tried to rub the pain away with his palms. He felt dizzy and sick and just wanted to get this over and done with.

"You're not fine, Merlin, you're in pain!" Gwen put her arm around his shoulder and slowly helped him back to his desk.

"You just wait here while I sort things out for you, ok?" she said kindly, a warm, reassuring smile on her face. Despite the panic due to his impending birth, he felt much calmer when Gwen looked at him like that. Gwen always put other people before herself. She was probably panicking just as much as Merlin right now but she was putting Merlin's wellbeing first, making him feel like everything was going to be alright, that he was safe.

"Thanks," he managed, still in pain. He felt a bit better now that he was able to sit down. He felt too hot and clammy and his abdomen felt like he'd pulled a muscle or two but at least he didn't have to worry about staying upright. Gwen squeezed his shoulder briefly before turning towards his desk and picking up his phone.

"And don't even think of doing any work while I'm not looking, you just relax. Think of yourself for a bit." Merlin startled slightly, not expecting her to speak again so soon, and looked up to see Gwen frowning at him.

"Don't worry," he said. "Even if I wanted to, I don't think I could get anything done right now."

"Good."

Merlin sat back and tried to relax while Gwen sorted out whatever she had to sort out. Gradually, the office grew noisier as the other employees came back from their break. Merlin closed his eyes and ignored it, ignored everything. He would have plenty of time to worry about being a father, about being a _good_ father later.

He brought one hand up to his round stomach, rubbing gentle circles into the skin. From experience, he knew it calmed the baby down. The gesture also happened to soothe him too.

He didn't know how long he waited. All he knew was that he'd experienced three more contractions since the first one – fuck, they were getting really close – and every time, Gwen had interrupted what she was doing to hold his hand and stay close. What would he do without her?

He was eventually jolted out of his reverie by Gwen softly calling his name.

"What?" he asked, probably not as eloquent as he could have been, but it earned him an amused smile from Gwen.

"Grab your things and get to the hospital. I've called Gwaine, he's waiting for you downstairs. I've also called Morgana for you since I know you don't want to talk to her. Everything's been sorted, you're free to start your leave today." She bent down to grab his bag and Merlin could have cried in relief. Bending down just didn't come easily these days. "And don't worry about the mess, ok? I'll take care of it."

"You're the best Gwen," he said, relieved that he wouldn't have to talk to Morgana after all. He was definitely going to have to get Gwen _something_ to thank her for everything she'd done for him these last few months.

Gwen smiled at him and pushed him towards the lift. "I know, I know. Now go, before you give birth right here in the office. I'll come and see you after work so you'd better have given birth by then or I'll be most disappointed."

"I'll see what I can do."

**

"Stupid baby," he muttered, still rubbing his belly. "All you had to do was wait two more days and then I was on leave for the rest of the year. You're as much of a prat as your father."

Merlin's heart clenched painfully at the mention of his baby's 'other father'. It felt like it had been so long since they'd parted ways, yet it still hurt just as much as it had back then.

"Prat," he mumbled for good measure.

The doors to the lift opened, interrupting his thoughts, and Merlin got in. The button for the ground floor was already pressed so Merlin looked up and came face to face with Arthur Pendragon just as the doors closed, cutting off his escape.

"Merlin," Arthur said curtly, barely looking at him.

"Arthur." He managed to keep his tone calm and unaffected but inside, he was screaming. Of all the people he did not want to see today, he'd had to end up stuck with Arthur in the lift.

"Why are your trousers wet?"

Why was the journey to the ground floor taking so long? "My waters broke."

"Oh. Congratulations, I guess." Arthur sounded bored, like the conversation was nothing more but gossip around the coffee machine to him. Merlin just wanted to get out of there, far away from Pendragons and work and _slow fucking lifts_.

The lift just passed the fifteenth floor when another contraction had Merlin doubled over in pain. "Fuck," he whimpered, clutching the rail as tightly as he could with one hand while the other clenched on top of his stomach.

"Are you alright?" Arthur was by his side in an instant, one hand rubbing circles into Merlin's lower back. He sounded concerned and a little scared and Merlin really thought he was going to cry, a mixture of relief, anger and frustration tugging at his emotions. It wasn't fair! He couldn't deal with this right now. He'd tried so hard to forget him.

"Hurts," he managed through gritted teeth. Instead of moving away, Arthur just stayed next to Merlin, rubbing his back and murmuring encouragements.

The pain from the contraction eventually passed and Merlin opened his eyes. Something was wrong, he noticed immediately. The lights were different – it felt darker and Merlin couldn't feel the lift moving anymore. He could feel his breathing come faster as the walls seemed closer than before. Fuck, this couldn't be happening!

"What happened?" he asked Arthur, trying not to panic.

Arthur shrugged. "Lift's stopped." He backed away from Merlin. "It happened just around the time you had your contraction. The emergency line seems to be down too."

"Great, just great," Merlin growled. Not only was he in severe pain from contractions because his baby couldn't even be bothered to wait until he was on leave to be born but his magic was wreaking havoc and had left him trapped in a tiny lift with Arthur. Could his day get any better?

The universe didn't respond kindly to sarcasm, Merlin thought as another contraction hit him, much sooner than he'd expected. The baby was getting closer and he was still trapped in this stupid lift. At least it looked like he wasn't in for a thirty-six-hour labour, small mercy.

"Breathe, Merlin," Arthur said softly, much closer than Merlin remembered.

"It _hurts_ , Arthur." He'd been aiming for a biting tone but it came out embarrassingly close to a whimper.

"I know, I'm sorry." Arthur pulled him close and pressed a kiss to his temple. "It'll be alright, Merlin. They'll have the lift up and running soon and we'll get you to the hospital in no time."

Merlin tried to wriggle out of Arthur's arms. "No! You don't get to do this to me, Arthur." He pushed at Arthur's chest ineffectively. "Not today! I'm over you."

But Arthur just held him tighter. Merlin soon slumped in exhaustion against his chest, trying not to cry; he really wasn't up to dealing with this right now. "I'm sorry, Merlin. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did."

Even though he'd wanted to remain strong, Merlin was crying as he was hit by another contraction, more painful and more intense than the previous one. He choked out a sob in pain, both physical and mental. They were really starting to get close, he thought as he clenched his fingers in the fabric of Arthur's pristine suit, Arthur's scent all around him. It brought back memories of the last time they'd been in this position, Merlin in Arthur's arms, not long before The Incident.

**

Merlin had a bright smile on his face despite being caught in the morning rush on the tube as he was every morning. He'd just got out of his doctor's appointment after spending the last couple of weeks feeling dreadful and throwing up a lot. He was _pregnant_ , he thought to himself gleefully and rested a hand on his flat stomach. There was a baby, a tiny little baby growing inside his belly and it was his. His and Arthur's – their baby. God, he was going to be a father! He couldn't stop thinking about it and every single thought seemed to make him more and more giddy with joy, like a vicious circle only much more pleasant.

The pregnancy was completely unexpected, as both he and Arthur were diligent about using protection during sex. Merlin especially – he knew that he could easily become pregnant due to his magic. Nobody really knew why or how magic made it possible for men to become pregnant but his mum had made it very clear to him starting from when he was ten.

"You're a very powerful sorcerer, Merlin," she'd said. "Because of that, you need to be careful when you have sex with another man or you'll end up pregnant."

Merlin had had exactly three pregnancy scares before – two in secondary school and one in uni. Fortunately, they'd only been scares (Merlin didn't want to think about what would have happened if he'd really been pregnant at fifteen) and had only made Merlin even more diligent with protection, the second two scares coming from broken condoms. He'd even started taking contraception at eighteen, after his third scare. Unfortunately, he'd forgotten to renew his prescription and had had to go without for a month and a half (he'd been too busy to go to the doctor's). And now he was pregnant, he thought happily.

Arthur didn't know about his magic, not yet anyway. Of course, once he told him about the pregnancy, Merlin hoped he wouldn't even have to, that Arthur would figure it out himself. Arthur couldn't possibly be that dense, there was no other reason for his pregnancy.

But Merlin wanted this, he wanted to have this baby, wanted to see it grow inside his belly until he was big and round. He even wanted all the horrible side-effects he'd heard of – swelling, morning sickness, pain, all of it!

He was absolutely beaming with pride! Until today, he hadn't thought he wanted children, not this early anyway. He was only twenty-three (turning twenty-four in a few weeks) and fresh out of uni, barely settled into his first real job. Now, he couldn't think of anything he wanted more. Maybe it was irresponsible to have children this young, especially in this economy, but Merlin felt confident. He wanted this child more than anything. He'd keep on working until he was ready to give birth and he was fairly certain that his company had something planned for pregnant workers – he'd check up on it at work. He was friends with Gwaine from HR, he'd probably be able to tell him what the company could do for him and whether or not his job was safe.

He was also a bit scared. Who wouldn't be, honestly? This was going to change his life completely and while Merlin hoped it would only change for the best, he knew that there was a none-too-small chance of his life being changed for the worst. There was a risk of him miscarrying (tiny due to his young age and good health, but not inexistent), there were all sorts of genetic defects that could negatively impact his child's life, there was a possibility of him not being cut out for fatherhood, and so much more. But despite all that, Merlin couldn't shake the bone-deep happiness that warmed him right through. So far, everything was fine. He was healthy, the baby was healthy, and any other considerations were having trouble breaking through to him.

He patted his still-flat stomach – there wouldn't be anything to see for at least another month, probably closer to two, the doctor had said – unable to keep his hands away, fully oblivious to his surroundings. He almost missed his stop, too busy thinking about his baby but he was jolted out of his reverie when another passenger shoved into him as he tried to get to the door. Normally, he hated the pushing and the shoving and the oppressing overcrowding of morning rush but nothing seemed to affect his mood today, he was just too happy.

His first instinct, upon getting to work, was to go straight to Arthur's office and tell him the good news. Unfortunately, his secretary – George, a ruthlessly efficient and organised man – let him know that Arthur was in a difficult meeting with his father and would be until lunchtime.

Merlin thanked him and made his way to his desk. He'd tell him at lunch then. He couldn't wait! He was so impatient, he couldn't even concentrate on his work, too busy thinking about their baby. Was it a girl, was it a boy, did it even matter? There were so many things he needed to buy!

"Alright, out with it," Gwen said during their break. "Why are you so happy?"

Merlin had honestly meant for Arthur to be the first to hear the good news but he just couldn't help himself, he was just too happy to keep it to himself.

"I'm pregnant, Gwen." He wanted to tell the whole world!

A bright grin spread across Gwen's face. "Oh my god, Merlin! That's fantastic! Congratulations!" She flung herself at him, hugging him tight. "You look so happy."

Merlin wrapped his arms around Gwen's shoulders and hugged her back just as tight. "I'm so excited, Gwen! I'm going to have a baby! I'm going to be a father!"

They'd gone back to work after that, a bit late but both grinning widely. Gwen had promised to keep the news to herself until he told Arthur but told him in no uncertain terms that they would be going out to celebrate that night.

The rest of the morning continued the way it had, Merlin still far too excited to concentrate on work, and soon he was in Arthur's office for lunch.

"You look happy," Arthur commented. As soon as the door had closed behind them, Merlin had engulfed Arthur in a tight hug, burying his face in the crook of his neck.

"I am very happy."

"Tell me while we eat?"

Arthur guided him towards one of the chairs and disentangled himself from Merlin's arms. As soon as he was sitting down, Merlin blurted out, "I'm pregnant, Arthur."

Arthur froze at that, not even blinking for a long moment. Merlin's happiness was slowly replaced with dread as the moment dragged on. There was one thing Merlin hadn't even considered yet – the fact that Arthur may not want this child. "Say something, Arthur."

Arthur blinked and frowned. "How did you get pregnant? We always use protection."

Merlin shrugged. At least he didn't seem to be worried by the 'magic' aspect of his pregnancy, not yet anyway.

"I don’t know, it probably broke. Sometime last month, I guess. I'm about a month and a half along according to the doctor."

Arthur nodded. "I see." He was quiet for a long while after that, slowly eating his lunch. Merlin just sat there squirming in his seat, far too apprehensive to eat. Why wasn't Arthur saying anything? Why wasn't he happy?

Just as Merlin was about to leave Arthur to his thoughts, Arthur spoke again. "You have to get rid of it."

Merlin tripped over his own feet in shock. He couldn't have heard that right, surely Arthur wouldn't... "What?" he asked, barely more than a whisper.

"I said, get rid of it."

Merlin felt himself go cold all over. He started to tremble a little and he felt like his legs were going to give out any second now. "I really don't think that's your decision to make."

"You're going to keep it?" Merlin nodded. "You can't be serious. You're too young."

"I want this baby, _our_ baby," he pleaded desperately. "Please Arthur, don't be like this. We'll be great parents."

"You really want to keep it?" Merlin nodded again. He wanted this baby more than anything. "Then get out, Merlin. I have nothing left to say to you."

Merlin went back to his desk almost in a trance. He couldn't quite believe that Arthur had been so cold as to tell him to get rid of their baby just like that, like it meant nothing to him or Merlin. The afternoon seemed to crawl along; there was nothing left for Merlin to look forward to.

He didn't even leave his desk for his break which is where Gwen found him, the office around them deserted. "What's wrong, Merlin? Did Arthur say something stupid again?" she asked quietly, concerned, sitting down next to him.

Something inside Merlin broke at Gwen's hushed, sad tone. He felt tears well up in his eyes and he had to choke back a sob, not wanting to draw attention to himself. He wasn't normally this emotional but he just couldn't help it, he couldn't hold the tears back. Maybe it was just hormones, after all, he was far along enough for that to happen.

Gwen brushed his hair off his forehead gently. "Oh Merlin, I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong?"

"He –" Merlin started, interrupted by a sob. "He told me to get rid of the baby, Gwen."

"Oh Merlin, you poor dear," Gwen cooed, pulling him into a tight hug, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. "But you're going to keep it, right?"

Merlin nodded against her shoulder, too upset to speak. "I'll be there for you, Merlin. We all will, Lancelot, Elyan, Percival, Leon, Gwaine... I'll make sure of it."

Merlin's heart swelled at her words. He was so grateful he had a friend like Gwen at a time like this. "Thank you, Gwen."

"Don't mention it, Merlin. You'd do the same for me."

"I wouldn't have to," he sniffled miserably. "Lance would never make you choose between him and your baby."

"Oh Merlin," she sighed unhappily. "I'll kill him for hurting you."

Merlin just hugged her tighter. "I don't want you to go to prison, I don't want them to take you away from me," he mumbled against the skin of her shoulder.

"Well at least let me mess up the spare suits he keeps in his office, he deserves that at the very least."

Merlin snorted with laughter, messy, undignified. He sniffled and rubbed the back of his hand under his nose. "Sorry."

Gwen ran her hand through his hair soothingly. "That's the spirit, Merlin. We'll get you through this. Just focus on you and the baby, alright?"

Merlin pulled back as he heard the tell-tale noise of his co-workers coming back from their break. "I will." He gave Gwen a smile, small and watery, but genuine. "Thanks, Gwen."

"Make me the baby's godmother and we'll call it even, ok?" She got up and started going back to her own desk. "Don't forget, we're still going out to celebrate tonight so don't even think of trying to escape. Moping won't change anything that's happened, so we might as well make the best of it."

**

Merlin felt like he would be eternally grateful for the friends he had. Lancelot, Elyan, Percival, Leon and Gwaine had all been overjoyed when he'd announced that he was pregnant that night at the pub. And if they'd had any questions about why he was pregnant, about his magic, then none came.

There'd been congratulations and pats on the back and a hug from Lancelot. Gwaine had even launched into an impromptu drunken speech later that night, mixing in things like 'there'll be no better father than you, mate, just you wait and see' and 'yeah, don't worry about that tosser, you're better off without him. Guess than means I have a chance now!' and 'fuck if I know what the rules are for pregnant employees, you just take care of yourself Merlin and I'll make sure you keep your job. I'll even challenge Pendragon Senior himself if I have to!'

For a moment, Merlin had been able to forget just how much Arthur's words had hurt him. It was as if he'd never said them. Merlin was once again excited and really looking forward to his unexpected pregnancy.

Things only got better from then on.

When Merlin was feeling down because of his hormones, because he couldn't quite forget Arthur or because he'd spent the morning throwing up (or both, more likely than not), there was always someone waiting to cheer him up. The early months were particularly taxing and Merlin felt like he spent more time on the verge of tears or angry than actually being happy.

Two months later, news came of Arthur's transfer to another department to Merlin's relief. He'd spent the last months studiously avoiding Arthur whenever he came to check on employee efficiency. He'd preferred to seem inefficient and uncommitted to the company than have to see Arthur even for a minute. Somehow, he never got caught and his worries of being fired slowly dissipated.

There were rumours, of course, the most popular being that Arthur had impregnated a woman – Vivian was the name that came up the most in discussions – and that his father had transferred him to another department where he had more control over Arthur's life.

Merlin had put on a brave smile while Gwaine and Leon first discussed the rumour but that night, he'd cried himself to sleep. Was that why Arthur had wanted him to get rid of the baby, because he was already having one with someone else? Merlin had called in sick the next day, not quite ready to face work.

Then came Mordred. Mordred used to work in Merlin's department and was always friendly enough even though he made Merlin feel a bit uncomfortable. But once Arthur transferred, Mordred applied to be transferred to Arthur's new department. His transfer went straight through and Merlin only saw Mordred rarely after that, usually hanging out with Arthur by the lift, like a puppy with its beloved master.

Arthur was replaced by Morgana, his half-sister. Morgana was nice, sympathetic even to Merlin's plight but she was fiercely protective of her half-brother and thought that if he and Arthur would just talk, everything would turn out fine. Merlin made it a point of avoiding Morgana too after that, immersing himself in work every time she was nearby. Morgana would sigh every time Merlin tried to deflect her concern by talking about work but, ultimately, would always let him get away with it, something Merlin was incredibly grateful for.

Life went on normally after that, Merlin's pregnancy progressing steadily. All the moments he'd intended to share with Arthur, when he first started showing, his first ultrasound, the first time the baby moved, even his first stretch mark, he shared with Gwen who then shared with the whole office.

"I'm sorry, Merlin, I can't help it," she said one evening. "I'm just so happy for you, your pregnancy is going so well."

"It's fine, Gwen, I'm glad you're happy," he replied, one hand resting on his slightly swollen stomach. He'd worried that he looked fat at first, uncharacteristically concerned with his appearance, but now that he was starting to look pregnant in his eyes, he felt much happier.

"You're sure?"

Merlin just smiled and nodded, happy and relaxed as he felt his baby move under his hand. Pregnancy, Merlin had discovered, was full of horrible moments, like when he'd been in so much pain he'd thought he was having a heart attack, only to discover that it was heart burn. But then there were moments like this one where everything felt right, where all his pains and aches faded, leaving him with a feeling that everything was perfect.

His friends loved to spoil him rotten. Gwen and Lance were always bringing him biscuits and cakes from expensive shops, with a simple 'you're eating for two now, might as well make it good' for explanation. Merlin couldn't quite get enough of the sweets and wondered just how he'd manage once he'd given birth and his friends stopped spoiling him. Of course, by then, he figured, he'd probably be too worried about trying to lose weight to care about the lack of sweets.

Gwaine had taken to driving him to and from work even though he lived completely on the other side of London.

"You don't need to do this, Gwaine," Merlin would protest. "I can manage on the tube just fine."

That wasn't quite true. As Merlin's belly grew, he found it harder and harder to stand up for prolonged periods of time and was quite glad he didn't have to face the tube during rush hour. Sometimes there would be a few nice commuters who would jump to their feet and offer him their seat, but most of the time, they'd all keep their noses glued to their newspapers or smartphones and pretend to ignore him. Still, he couldn't help but feel guilty every time Gwaine went out of his way to drive him around.

Gwaine would just pat him on the shoulder. "Don't worry your pretty little head, Merlin. I'm a big boy, I can manage. You just focus on junior here."

"Fine," Merlin would pretend to huff. "But I'm buying you dinner tonight." And every night, they would stop at the restaurant just up the road from Merlin's flat and Merlin would buy him dinner.

Leon was more subtle in his spoiling but Merlin eventually noticed that he didn't have as much work to do any more.

Leon shrugged, a little embarrassed at being caught out when Merlin cornered him after work one day. "I just think you shouldn't work too hard, Merlin. Carrying a baby isn't easy."

"Don't you have work of your own to be doing?" Merlin asked, trying not to cry happy tears at Leon's words.

"It's fine, don't worry about it, Merlin. It's the least I can do for you. Besides, I subcontract what I can't manage to Percy," he added with a laugh.

Percival chose that moment to walk in on their discussion. "Oh, sorry! I'll come back later."

Merlin grabbed his arm as he turned to leave. "Not so fast, Percival." He smiled at him. "Thank you."

Percival looked confused. "Um... you're welcome?" And Merlin laughed, feeling like he'd never been happier.

Finally, Elyan kept on bringing him little presents every once in a while, a little wooden train for when the baby was older, a blanket with ducks to keep the baby warm that he'd seen in a store and made him think of Merlin, a support band for his belly when Merlin started complaining that his back was aching.

Every time Merlin tracked him down to thank him and tell him he didn't have to do this, Elyan would just smile, pat Merlin on the shoulder. "I want to do it," he'd say before going back to work.

Five months into his pregnancy, Merlin found a new, larger, first-floor flat that he could afford just down the road from his current flat. The kitchen and living room were two separate rooms, there was a small second bedroom that would be his baby's room and the view was much nicer. He told Gwaine about it on the drive to work, apologising for not finding a place less out of Gwaine's way. Gwaine told him not to worry about it, that the baby was more important than his rest or mileage and Merlin smiled softly, resting his hand on his small belly.

That weekend, they all came over to help him move. Merlin was strictly forbidden from carrying anything heavy and they left Gwen to supervise him. She helped him pack his books in boxes, doing all the bending down and reaching up, and brought him hot chocolates and sweets to pacify him when Merlin complained.

When Merlin reached his eighth month of pregnancy, Lancelot took him out to lunch. Merlin had a feeling something was up but kept quiet. If Lance wanted to be sneaky and take him to lunch, Merlin wasn't going to complain. He was starving and was desperately craving couscous from the place down the road.

They walked back slowly after lunch, Merlin reduced to a slow waddle in the late stages of his pregnancy, and Lancelot seemed tense. Merlin soon figured out why when he opened the door to his flat and was greeted with a loud "SURPRISE!" from his friends.

And that's how Merlin's friends gave him a surprise baby shower (once Merlin had stopped crying and managed to convince his friends that he was just crying because he was happy and that he didn't mean to, but hormones, you know?).

By the end of the day, the nursery was painted a soft creamy yellow and the furniture, a crib and a set of drawers with a changing mat on top, was assembled. Merlin had tried to help but Gwaine had escorted him back to the sofa, fixing him a hot chocolate and keeping him company while the others worked.

When they had all left, Merlin went to stand in the entrance to the nursery, one hand resting on his full stomach.

"What do you think, baby?" he asked gently. He got a small kick in return, a kick of approval, he decided, and grinned, patting his belly. "Good baby, I'll take good care of you. I promise."

The rest of Merlin's pregnancy seemed to fly by and soon, his due date was nearing.

"I'm not sure I'm ready, Gwen," he admitted one day. They were on break, Merlin and Gwen were standing by the coffee machine while Gwen sipped at her hot drink. Merlin ran his hands over his large bump, trying not to feel too jealous that Gwen got to drink coffee and he could only enjoy the smell.

_"Just a few more days,"_ he thought wistfully.

"You'll be fine, Merlin, trust me." She patted his belly gently. "You're going to be a great father. I'm really proud of you, you know?"

Merlin smiled a little sadly at that. "I haven't even thought of names."

**

Arthur helped him sit down on the floor. He put his hand on Merlin's belly and rubbed soothing circles. "Does it hurt a lot?"

Merlin glared. "Yes, it's killing me. Don't touch me!" He batted Arthur's hand away angrily and tried to curl up on himself miserably. "Just leave me alone, Arthur. I don't want to deal with you ever again."

"I can't do that, Merlin. You know I can't," he said sadly.

"You managed just fine for the last eight months. I don't need you, Arthur, I'm fine on my own. I'm having this baby without you."

Arthur sat down next to him, not close enough that they were touching, but not far enough that Merlin couldn't feel the warmth radiating from Arthur's body. Merlin was hit by another contraction which sent him toppling over onto Arthur as he tried to stop the pain.

"Breathe, Merlin, breathe," Arthur murmured, letting a hint of his old smug, supercilious self through. "Didn't they teach you anything in antenatal classes?"

"I _am_ breathing, you clotpole. It's not fucking helping, is it?" Merlin was angry and almost hysterical at that point. "No. Because I'm stuck in a fucking lift with a useless fucking clotpole and I'm about to give birth to a baby on my own."

Arthur took his hand in his. "Everything's going to be alright, Merlin. I promise."

Merlin squeezed his hand hard, whimpering in pain as another painful contraction hit him barely a minute after the last one.

"Fuck, I'm close," he panted. "I need to get out of here." He tried to scramble to his feet but another contraction hit him and he curled up on the floor, rocking himself as waves of pain coursed through his belly. He could feel his baby pressing down, trying to get out. He squeezed his legs together as tight as he could, hoping to keep it inside, safe and warm, until he was out of this stupid lift.

The baby, however, seemed to have a different idea. Merlin could feel it push and push and push and in that instant, he knew he would be giving birth in this stupid fucking lift with Arthur for sole company.

"A-Arthur," he gasped through the pain. Arthur was on his knees beside him in no time, brushing his sweaty fringe off his forehead. "It's too late, I'm going to give birth now."

"What?"

"I have to, I'm so sorry Arthur, I just can't hold it in any longer," he panted as the pain grew unbearable.

"Oh god, Merlin, here?" Under any other circumstance, Merlin would have laughed at how panicked the normally unflappable Arthur Pendragon sounded but he could only gasp and whimper and writhe on the floor as one contraction after another hit him and he tried to breathe through them.

"Help me get undressed," Merlin whimpered. To his credit, Arthur was very quick in pulling Merlin's trousers and pants off and supporting Merlin's head with his folded clothes. "Now what?" he asked, sounding focused, in control. Merlin felt reassured, at least one of them was calm.

Merlin cried as another contraction hit him, this was the worse one yet, like his stomach was slowly being torn apart. "Oh god, I don't know, Arthur, I don't know! I'm not ready for this, I don't know what to do!" he sobbed pathetically. He grabbed one of Arthur's hands and tried to focus on his face. "I'm so sorry, Arthur, so sorry. Please don't leave me –" he babbled, not really aware of what he was saying. He trailed off in a cry as another contraction hit him.

"Merlin," Arthur said gently, his empty hand slowly, tenderly caressing Merlin's cheek. "Merlin, love, I'm going to move you onto your back, ok? Then I'm going to part your legs and see what's going on. Don't try to push yet, ok?"

Merlin nodded, barely hearing what Arthur was saying through the pain. Arthur had gone into full leader mode – everything was going to be ok, he managed to think through the haze of pain. He grunted as Arthur gently pushed him onto his back. "That's good, Merlin, you're doing just fine," he murmured, running soothing circles over Merlin's bump. "I'm going to part your thighs, ok? Don't push."

Merlin felt Arthur open his legs, bending them at the knees and bringing each of his feet to rest on elevated supports. He grunted as he resisted the almost unbearable urge to _pushpushpush_ as the baby tried to break free. He saw a flash of bright light between his legs and Arthur moved in to have a look. "Is that – Is that a flashlight?" he asked through the pain.

"I need to see what's going on, Merlin," Arthur said, gently stroking Merlin's hip. He felt Arthur's hand on his hip tense. "You – You have a vagina, Merlin!"

"'S magic," he said, his words slurred from the pain. Why wasn't this over already?

"But – But –"

Merlin sighed, trying to shake himself from the haze of pain he was in to focus on Arthur for a moment. "How else is the baby going to come out? Just shut up and get on with it. Besides, I prefer the term 'mangina', ok?"

Arthur let out an amused breath. "Sounds like 'angina'."

"Shows just how uneducated you are, you stupid prat," Merlin said before another painful contraction hit him, forcing a small whimper from his throat.

"I can see something," Arthur said, not quite as calm and composed as before. Normally, Merlin would have had a witty retort for him but he was in too much pain to be witty, the contractions hitting less than once a minute now. He couldn't even bring himself to care that Arthur really had no idea what he was doing – hospital dramas didn't count as real life experience. "I think it's the head, Merlin."

"Oh god," he whimpered. He was doing this, he was really doing this. He was going to give birth to his child in a lift with Arthur as the acting midwife. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen at all. He was supposed to be in hospital with anaesthetics, a caring team of experienced medical professionals guiding him through his first delivery, with his mum (if he'd given birth on time), or Gwaine or Gwen, or both even, by his side, holding his hand and encouraging him.

"You can push now, Merlin." And Merlin did, he pushed as hard as he could, shouting and tears streaming down his face from the pain. He felt Arthur take one of his hands and he squeezed it as hard as he could. Fuck, it felt so huge, he thought it was going to tear him apart. He'd known it was going to hurt, that the baby was going to feel fucking huge, they'd told him as much in his antenatal classes. But why hadn't they told him he was going to be in excruciating pain?

"That's it, Merlin, you're doing great. I can see the head now." Merlin was trembling from the effort and his throat was raw from shouting. He was almost there, he encouraged himself; soon he'd be able to hold his baby in his arms. It was almost over, just a little bit longer and it would all be over, the pain would go away.

"You need to push again, Merlin. Come on, love, one more push. I know you can do it. You're so strong, Merlin." He squeezed Merlin's hand briefly.

Merlin prepared himself to push again and flinched from the pain. "I can't do this," he whimpered miserably. "I can't, I can't! It's too much. I'm sorry, so sorry, Arthur, but I can't! I can't –"

"You have to, Merlin, you can't stop here. You can do it, I know you can. You're so strong, Merlin. I love you."

And with that, Merlin pushed as hard as he could through the unbearable pain, squeezing Arthur's hand and shouting as loud as he could. He felt his child slide out of him and gave a sigh of relief, collapsing back against his makeshift pillow.

"You did it, Merlin, you did it!" Arthur shouted with glee as the baby gave a sharp cry. "It's a girl!"

"Emily," Merlin murmured, alliterations be damned, his chest heaving as he panted. He just wanted to close his eyes and go to sleep forever but he had to see his daughter. He extended his arms weakly, just wanting to hold her in his arms and know she was safe.

Arthur handed him his daughter, just as the lift started up again. She was wet and slimy and the umbilical cord was still attached, but to Merlin, she was the most beautiful baby in the whole world.

The doors opened and Merlin could hear Gwen's panicked voice calling for him, asking if he was alright. The last thing he remembered before closing his eyes was Arthur kissing his forehead, telling him to get some rest and that he'd be alright now. "I'll take care of you now, Merlin, I'm so proud of you."

**

Merlin woke up feeling sore and in pain and oddly empty in a strange room. There was a window in the room and a quick look told Merlin that it was quite late as the sky was dark. The lights in his room were dimmed there was a slew of cards and a few balloons on the table next to him. He put his hand on his stomach and frowned. It felt strange – smaller, and he couldn't feel his baby move. He also felt a small contraction just then, nowhere near as bad as those he'd endured while giving birth, but annoying. Afterpains, he thought glumly. He'd been told to expect them for several months after giving birth.

Suddenly, he remembered and sat up straight in bed, wincing as his whole body protested violently, his other hand coming to rest on his stomach. Emily, where was Emily? He looked around frantically, looking for any sign of his newborn daughter. There was a small transparent bassinet by his side, empty, but showing signs that his daughter had been there at some point. His vision blurred with tears, his whole body was shaking and he was breathing in a shallow, rapid manner, close to panic. He wrapped his arms around himself and pulled his knees up to his chest to the best of his ability, trying to remain calm.

"She's alright," he told himself quietly. "It's alright, everything's fine. Nothing's wrong. The doctors probably wanted to run a few tests and didn't want to wake me. It's alright."

Just as he was about to get out of bed and call for a nurse, Arthur walked into his room holding a small bundle in his arms. "Hey, you're awake," he said softly, moving to stand next to Merlin's bed. He handed Merlin the tiny bundle.

"Emily?" Arthur nodded and Merlin smiled in relief, his body feeling warm and loose and his panic faded away, cradling his daughter close. "Hello, baby," he murmured, nuzzling the top of her head and pressing a kiss to the soft warm skin. "You're not stupid at all, are you?" he cooed. "No. You're very smart, aren't you? Oh, you're perfect." He kissed her again. "I love you."

"Sorry, she started crying and your mum took her outside for a bit of a walk to let you sleep. She's just gone to call your dad, so I thought I'd bring her back now that she's calmed down."

"Mum's here?" Merlin asked, barely paying attention to his surroundings as he got acquainted with his first child.

"Yeah, Gwen called her and she drove down immediately. She got here two hours ago."

"That's good," Merlin murmured.

He took a minute to look at his daughter in his arms, so tiny but beautiful and perfect in every imaginable way. She looked so much like Arthur too, the blond fuzz on her head, the shape of her face, it all reminded him of Arthur, painfully so. But she had his ears, Merlin thought with a smile, maybe she'd look more like him when she grew up. He loved her so much already, he felt like his chest was going to burst, unable to contain all the love he felt for her. He ran a fingertip down the side of her face, peaceful and relaxed as she slept soundly.

"She's beautiful, Merlin. Congratulations."

Merlin turned to see Arthur still standing there, looking at him, fond and loving. "I didn't think you'd still be here," Merlin said.

Arthur shrugged and sat down by his side. "I wanted to make sure you were both ok."

"Is she ok?"

Arthur smiled and caressed Merlin's hair. "She's the healthiest little girl in London, Merlin."

"Thanks for today, Arthur," Merlin said, looking him straight in the eyes. "I put you through a lot, I'm sorry."

"I'm the one who should be sorry, Merlin," Arthur said softly. "I never should have left you."

Merlin shrugged gently so as not to wake his daughter. "It's fine, I'm over it now."

"I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Like I said, I'm over it now."

"I didn't want to, I just –" Arthur trailed off, his eyes dropping to Emily's peacefully sleeping form. "My father... He already thought I'd – With Vivian... But I didn't Merlin, I swear, her pregnancy was a lie but when you announced yours, I didn't know that. I didn't know what to do. I'm sorry."

"You asked me to get rid of her," Merlin reminded him dryly.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have."

Merlin lay back against the pillows, gently running his finger down his daughter's face. "I wanted her so much, Arthur. I wanted us to be a family."

"I'm sorry. By the time I realised with Vivian, it was too late, you were avoiding me." Arthur's hands were clenched in his suit trousers. How long had he been in them, anyway? How long had Merlin been asleep?

"I was hurt, Arthur. I was really excited about having a family."

"I know. That's why I changed departments so that you didn't have to avoid me."

" _You_ did that?" Merlin was genuinely surprised, he'd honestly believed the rumours. He took a moment to consider it before continuing. "You never wrote me up for not being at my desk whenever you were around either."

Arthur shrugged. "It was the least I could do. I knew it was my fault you were avoiding me. I didn't want to get you fired. I tried to stop by your flat a few months ago but your landlord told me you'd moved.

"Oh. Yeah, I needed more space for my baby so I moved. I didn't move far, just down the road."

"I'm glad; I wasn't sure how you'd manage on your own in that small flat of yours."

Merlin sighed. Apparently, he wasn't going to escape this conversation. Might as well get it over with quickly so he could get back to his daughter. "So, what now, Arthur? Are you just going to waltz back into my life like nothing happened?"

"I don't know, Merlin," he said miserably. He was being so open with his feelings, so candid, that Merlin was secretly impressed and proud. Arthur didn't like talking about his feelings, always trying to hide behind a neutral façade. "I know I have no right to ask this of you but I really want to give us another try. I love you so much."

"You can't just say things like that, Arthur. I can't forget what you did." The truth was that Merlin did really want to be with Arthur again, despite his behaviour. He still loved the prat and he was certain that bringing up a baby was easier with another person, a feeling he blamed on residual pregnancy hormones, but he didn't want to be hurt again. "What about Mordred?"

"What _about_ Mordred, Merlin?" he repeated.

"Don't give me that," Merlin snapped. "I saw you, all friendly and close. He fucking transferred to your new department, Arthur."

"Merlin, Mordred's nothing more than a co-worker and a good friend, ok?"

"But – But I _saw_ you!"

"You saw us being friends, Merlin, nothing more. I promise. You're the only one for me."

Merlin sighed and pressed a kiss to his daughter's forehead. "If you're sure... Still, I'm not going to forget how you treated me just like that."

"I don't want you to forget and I'm not going to forget either," Arthur promised. "We could take it slow? I'd come round and help you with our daughter –"

" _My_ daughter," Merlin interrupted softly but firmly. He was going to make this very clear – Arthur had no claim whatsoever to his daughter. He'd borne her all on his own for those long months, putting up with hundreds of small and not-so-small inconveniences, living his life for her and only her as she grew inside him while Arthur had done nothing. He didn't deserve to call her his daughter and Merlin wasn't sure he'd ever earn that right.

Arthur was quiet for a long moment as Merlin's words sank in. " _Your_ daughter," Arthur repeated quietly, "while you get some rest and see how it goes from there."

"Sounds like a plan, then," Merlin said, stifling a yawn. He didn't want to fight any more. He was tired and he was in pain and he just wanted the best for his daughter, even if it meant putting up with clotpoles. He also wanted her to know both her parents – Merlin couldn't forget how it had felt to want to know his own father but never be able to see him. He didn't want Emily to go through that. "Could you take her please? I think I need to sleep some more."

He wasn't quite sure why he trusted Arthur with his daughter, whether it was a lingering effect of the traumatic event in the lift, or whether he genuinely trusted him, but he felt safer knowing that Arthur was there to keep an eye on her while he slept.

Arthur got up and took Emily in his arms, cradling her gently against his chest. "Sleep, Merlin, we'll be right here when you wake up."


End file.
